This incident with the tooth gives me an opportunity to talk about an important issue within polytheism – namely what do you do when bad things happen to you, especially when it’s a series of bad things and not just an isolated occurrence.
My first recourse is usually divination. I read for myself and I also turn to respected colleagues since it’s good to get a fresh, outside perspective on things. (Plus if I’m under some kind of attack I may not be able to trust my signal clarity.) The questions I tend to ask are: what is happening? What is causing it to happen? Can anything be done to turn the situation around?
Going in, I try to assume nothing. Just because I have a fairly close relationship with my gods and spirits and they’ve been extraordinarily kind and generous to me in the past doesn’t mean that they are going to shield me from all affliction, or that I’m automatically on their good side, or that they’re necessarily even capable of stopping this. After all these bad things could be part of my personal fate, the result of spiritual attack, a necessary obstacle to overcome in order to learn something valuable or acquire certain powers, just recompense for past crimes (whether my own or those of my ancestors), part of a larger pattern or merely some random thing that happened.
Once I’ve determined what’s going on to the best of my ability (keeping in mind that my signal clarity may be compromised, I may be intentionally being mislead by the gods or spirits for any number of reasons, or there may be too many moving parts to get a satisfactory read on the situation at the present time – all reasons why I turn to other diviners instead of relying solely on my own results) I come up with a strategy for handling things.
This begins by asking questions such as: do I need to make offerings, and if so to who and of what sort? Do I need to beef up my luck and personal protections? Do I need to modify my behavior or attitude, either by eliminating or adding certain things? Do I need to go on the offensive? What practical considerations need to be taken care of?
And it ends by actually following through with the advice that I’m given. There is no surer recipe for disaster than consulting the gods and spirits and completely ignoring what they tell you. Mind, you may not always be in a position to heed their advice – at which point you just have to suck it up and accept what happens or see if there are offerings you can make to minimize the consequences of that decision.
I also use this as an opportunity to take stock of my life choices and internal constitution. Specifically I analyze my emotional responses to the event and any unexamined assumptions that may be influencing them. For instance, if I am angry I ask myself where is this anger coming from and who is it directed at? Myself, my gods and spirits, my loved ones, the world at large? Why? Have they actually done something to deserve that or am I just making them an easy target, deflecting so I don’t have to deal with the true root which most often lies within myself. Do I feel that I am somehow deserving of special treatment, and if so what have I done recently to warrant this felicity? How is it unfair when illness, injury, want and frustration are part of the universal mortal condition and hell, even the gods and spirits experience vicissitudes? Besides, fairness is a human value projected onto the material world – nature recognizes only strength and endurance: you must endure what you are not strong enough to stop. Further, suffering tests the character as surely as flame the blade. Who am I? Who do I wish to become? After all, who would the great hero have been without his labors? Not Herakles but Eurystheus! At which point I’ve usually managed to pull myself back from the ledge of despair and resolve to face my adversity with courage and fortitude.
That’s not to say that I don’t have moments of weakness and doubt. I do, absolutely. And instead of beating myself up for them I let myself go through them, feel and learn what I need to from them, and just keep going. As surely as we suffer, nothing in this world is permanent or immutable. All is flux. Which means that this, too, will pass. Further, I use this as an opportunity to remind myself that feelings are something I have not something that defines me. I am the choices I make and adhere to, not an aggregate of ephemeral emotion. So when I feel like shouting “Fuck you!” to the heavens and throwing in the towel I indulge that momentarily (it’s easier to let it out than repress it) then make appropriate apologies and get back to the long, hard and unglamorous work of maintaining a devotional relationship with my gods and spirits. Not only has this approach minimized the intensity of such outbursts but it’s also diminished their frequency. At this point I hardly feel the need to rail when things go to shit. Mostly I laugh, wipe off my hands, and ask, “Alright. Where do we go from here?”
It also helps that I think of my life in terms of Story and if nothing ever went wrong and there was never anything to overcome, well, that would be pretty damn boring, wouldn’t it?
If you found any value in these words, please consider contributing to my fundraiser. Doctors don’t accept philosophizing in exchange for their services I fear.
Tagged: divination, gods, philosophy, religious practice, spirits
