So this guy approaches the counter, stares at me uncomfortably for a while and then we have this conversation:
Man: That tornado is proof that Jesus loves us.
Me: Uh … huh.
Man: You see, we are made to suffer so that we do not become attached to worldly things. Suffering lifts our eyes from sinful pleasure up to our heavenly father. God gives us suffering so that we will love him and come join him in his celestial kingdom instead of remaining down here, where we would if we were happy.
Me: I’ve never been happier to be a polytheist.
He doesn’t understand the term, asks me to explain. I point to the line forming behind him and say perhaps another time.
Woman: You’re a polytheist? I’m Wiccan too!
I glance at her Doctor Who t-shirt, flying spaghetti monster button, three wolf moon bag and the shiny silver pentagram dangling between her ample bosoms.
Me: I never would have guessed.
Woman: Are you praying to the great mother for the victims in Oklahoma?
Me: Who do you mean? My religion has many great mothers.
Woman: The universal mother, she who is behind all godforms.
Me: No.
Woman: What?
Me: No. I won’t be praying to her for the victims. What would be the point? Assuming she exists — and let’s not get into that, because you seriously don’t want to hear what I’ve got to say about that — I kind of doubt she’s sitting there debating whether to help those people or not and if she is why would a prayer from some random dude in Oregon sway her? Do you think the world works like American Idol?
Woman: I just … I just …
And then she flees, leaving her change on the counter. I pocket it and grin at the next customer.
Me: And how may I help you?
Tagged: christianity, gods, paganism, philosophy
