“I’m important! Pay attention to meeeeeeee!”
Well, I just finished watching Manôushe: A Gypsy Love Story and there has been no further harassment from Mr. Smith, so I’m going to chalk another one up to the efficacy of prayer and head to bed for some good, restful slumber after I post this.
But first, did you notice something peculiar in our exchange? (Found here, here, here, here, here and here for those not keeping up.)
No, not the fact that as soon as the topic of his Gods & Powers came up he invoked Níðhöggr the dragon who gnaws at the roots of the World Tree (a pretty apt analogy for what Mr. Smith is attempting to do to Heathenry if you ask me.)
Nor the fact that from the get go he came off as paranoid, delusional, bellicose and lobbed threats such as this in a pathetic attempt to intimidate:
I already have enough dirt on you to bury you if, of course, it was really worth my time to do so Evolite
And:
when you pass your name will die with you.
And:
Your time is ending. You know it. The Gods & Powers are unhappy & They have made clear what to do about people like you.
And so forth.
Tactics, I will point out, he has tried on plenty of others in the past.
But nope, that isn’t it either.
Over and over again he told me how much I didn’t matter, how much I wasn’t worth his time, how inconsequential and powerless I was … because I don’t have a large following.
Which I don’t.
And I never have.
And I wouldn’t want “followers” even if they wanted me.
Since I started this blog back in 2010 my stats have remained fairly steady at around 300-500 hits a day. Occasionally when I’m in the midst of some communal nontroversy they’ll see a drastic spike, but that immediately goes back down once it’s over. This is strictly small potatoes in the realm of the pagan and polytheist blogosphere, as I’m sure plenty of others will gloatingly tell you.
In that time I think I’ve made it pretty clear I don’t give a shit what you, my readers, think. (I mean, I care about you – just not as “readers.”) I post bizarre drunken poetry, lengthy essays that go over most people’s heads, tons of obscure quotes and videos only I find interesting, I’ve taken unpopular stances on controversial topics, I’m bad at responding to comments, I frequently scrub my blog without notice and go on hiatus for months at a time, I infrequently comment on other blogs and I shun all other forms of social media – especially Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. Basically everything you’re not supposed to do if you want to court popularity as a blogger.
In fact, I’ve turned down opportunities to write for Patheos Pagan, Witches&Pagans, Polytheist.com, several other venues that folded and no one remembers, and even Gods&Radicals believe it or not.
I write books on subjects no one cares about which no one reads, and I run a private forum with around 45 people which can’t be found through a google search, doesn’t receive any advertising and I actively discourage people from joining. I teach classes and offer crafts through my blog, but not with the intention of making a name for myself or raking in big bucks. I do it because I enjoy these things, and hell I end up comping most of my students anyway and funnel all of the proceeds from my various efforts, including my meager book sales, back into the community.
How can you harm a man’s reputation when he cares nothing for it? I know who I am, and the opinions of other human beings neither add to or take away from that.
And this little fact makes people like Rhyd Wildermuth and Ryan Smith go completely fucking nuts. They simply cannot comprehend that I do not crave the wealth, power, prestige and attention that they and so many others like them are so incredibly desperate to have. I am an anomaly. I don’t conform to their expectations and biases. I simply do not compute. And so they keep lobbing the same tired accusations against me like robots whose circuits are frying, even though they can clearly see that it has no effect on me. The thing is, it does affect a lot of folks in our overlapping community where the “polytheist rock star syndrome” has reached epidemic proportions, so I can kind of see why they do it.
Now there are plenty of things that would get under my skin, but since they don’t share my values and priorities it never even occurs to them to employ such ammunition against me.
And that is probably the saddest thing about all of this.
I do not fear these preening peacocks dragging around their bloated egos – and neither should you. When they lie, distort, bully and threaten – just laugh in their faces, and know that there is nothing that they can do to harm you.
